Sunday, April 22, 2018

Fears In Our Lives

I've just been on Facebook, cruising around looking at some groups I'm a member of and found that people get really angry at the smallest things - like for example if I have an actual opinion of my own.

Yes, Lord forbid I have a real opinion about something which isn't of anyone else's.

In one group, somebody took a photograph of a spider and uploaded it onto the group discussion and asked what kind of spider it was. I said that I wouldn't care, and to kill it. Well, the backlash that came from that comment was huge... people asking me why, and how horrible I was! They didn't think twice in putting up piles of those stupid angry faces. Instead, why didn't they ask me: 'Oh... are you scared of spiders. Sorry about that - of course you'd say to kill it.' 

And this is another thing: why is it that one person's fear is something hilariously funny to another? 

Okay, I'm terrified of spiders ... and I mean I'll kill the smallest one around just in case it disappears around the house somewhere and grows into something I don't like. Yeah my mind plays games like that. I'll kill it before it does anything - even if it's been hanging about in the corner and it's only the size of a penny and won't hurt anyone, I'll still kill it.

I'm also terrified of clowns - those hateful, grease-paint-covered people in big floppy shoes and wigs with the cotton gloves! You won't see me screaming or anything, I just go really quiet and start backing away slowly, staring at them. I don't like them at all - not since I was seven years old and I went to a circus and one thought to 'entertain' me. In reality it freaked me right out! 

Another fear I've got is needles. You know when you go to get a blood test, and you can just walk in and get it done? Yeah, well, it takes me days to work up the courage to actually walk into a place like that and get a blood test done - sometimes I just don't get it done because I'm so scared of those stupid things. And it's because I had been getting blood tests since I was 2 years old every 3 months until I was around 9 years old... not a big thing to be scared of really; not until you have to be an adult about it - like I had to be last week when the doctors had to put me to sleep in a hospital and the guy knew I didn't like needles and hid it from me (great person to do that).

But when I was in high school, they did the T.B test (which was a stamp the year before) and I had to have half the staff sit on me and somebody hold down my arm - and this was after 3 1/2 hours of them trying to talk me into it. When they finally did get the needle near me, the nurse told the principal, 'Next year, go back to the stamp - you won't have somebody like her in the mix, and it'll be so much faster.' And the following year, they did.

So, why is it that we as a Human Race make fun of another person's fears, thinking it's something small? I don't understand it - and never will. I don't make fun of another's fears simply because I have my own fears which people think are stupid. 
The reason for us doing this is because deep down inside we don't want to be seen as sensitive to another's feelings and seeing them as a person with their own fears - and therefore have our friends think we're not going to think the same way at them. Yes, we fear rejection from our own tribe if we don't make fun of the people we do make fun of; instead of breaking away from them and thinking for ourselves.

Isn't it so true that our fear of not being ourselves in this world is also how we filter our lives on Facebook and on the internet? I don't filter myself online or offline... and if people don't like me for who I am, well, that's tough. I'm not changing myself for them - and it looks like they're not going to be part of my life... right? 

Fears - it holds us back, makes us tougher, causes weakness in some and then keeps us in check as well. But if we didn't have them, we wouldn't be human either. 

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Weekend Work

It may seem as though I'm not posting much here, but I've been busy offline. There's a lot going on in my life that I haven't written down here - but I have done in my offline journal. 

And I have to apologise for that. You see, some of the things are a little too personal to put up here for the public to see.

But over the past week, I've been getting as much housework done as possible; and it's good to get in and actually see it done. All the laundry is finally finished up - and tomorrow I'll be putting all the laundry away in its proper place, putting away any art/craft boxes I don't need in the wardrobes and washing the floors and vacuuming everywhere.

Yep, it's going to be a busy day - I might even get in and wash the car; I'm not sure yet.

The backyard is looking pretty good after being mowed twice this week and all the weeds pulled out as much as possible - and that was after I did some serious work on it a few weeks ago.

I have been in planning mode for this one-day visit to a hospital for the past two weeks. In my last shopping trip, I made sure I had enough bread and frozen goods to see me through not only last week, but this week as well. I also made sure I had plenty of other dry goods in the pantry to see me through the next couple of weeks... and so when I have to go shopping next week with Mum, I'm not pushing myself too hard; and I'm not stressed out. 

This is something I try to do with big things like this... plan ahead - and I'm really good at planning for things like this too, I've found.

So far, I've gotten all my bills paid, my rego of my car paid, the insurance paid and next week sometime, I'll be paying my RACQ as well... yep, it'll all be good! Now, I hope my phone bill gets paid properly; and I'll be able to happily say that my planning for the first half of this year has fallen into line. If not, well, that's something I'll have to work on.

Anyway, my work this weekend isn't finished; and I'm not worried about how much work is left - I'm only worried about how to get it done. Time isn't a factor when you've got your mind on a deadline - and my deadline is Sunday night; because, well, Monday night is my night for 'Supernatural'... I'm not letting that slip by. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember I'm always here.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Been Busy

It's been a while since my last post, and it's because I've been busily working away on paintings and decluttering - well, okay, not so much decluttering but collecting from charity stores - and hanging out with my friend Tutasi. She's heading home to the USA earlier than expected; so I'm hanging out with her more over the next few days as I don't know when I'll see her again.

Anyway, today, I got in and did three loads of laundry and it's all outside on the line. The garden has been mowed, weeded and cleaned up over the past week or so. And I have to get either new batteries for the lights out in the garden - or new lights. I'll see if I can get new batteries first and if I can't, new lights it is!

I'm looking at cleaning out the kitchen and living room again and donating what I don't need anymore - yep it's time for another major declutter and donation before I buy anything else. But I've been buying some clothes for Winter and getting in and buying some bangles. 

Otherwise, I'm onto my 3 painting of Brunswick Heads at the Logan Artists Association and my 2nd one for this year. The first one this year will be going to the Member's Exhibition next week and I'll be hoping to sell it - now that'd be great! I can't wait if I do. 
I'm also knitting away at night for myself. I'm making my own throw for my bed. It's taking shape really well and I can't wait to pull it together in the next year or so. 

Now Autumn has been showing itself more, I'm looking at what I enjoy wearing more and the nights are cooler - thank goodness. The pedestal fan has been put away and I'm sleeping better; Summer really isn't a great season for people like me, people who can't handle the heat. But as the year moves on, I'll be working on bettering the way my place looks, the way the garden looks and the way everything fits in my place. This is going to be a really creative year for me in every aspect of my life. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.